Inside your love.

 

Sunshine sparkles in your eye
looking for any small detail;
you catch, think out and emit,
mess up my rules a little bit.

You refuse with all your nerve -
I wear my frown and you observe,
then embrace my leg and lay
your ruffled hair; what can I say...
 

You're my little Mirror of Truth,
my wisdom and my lost youth,

only give what you are given,
place yourself where you're driven.

So I get on my scrawny knees,

"Don't be sad my baby, please"

Put my hands on your pouting face,
find the solace in your embrace.

Sunshine sparkles in your heart
when you wake me up if I'm apart,
holding my hands like you were me,
Goddess incarnate, you're just three.

Children are the light of the world,
and they can't explain - but they unfold;
precious stones embedded inside
pushing strong grievance aside.

Paper boat.

 

I promised
I'd have given myself another chance.
I swear
I'm not into, try to balance
the leak.
I fall apart with the second glance
and I know,
all I can argue makes just no sense.

I miss you so and can't control my mess,
pay attention - or the world shall do it for you;
I am so smooth in words, so tough in threats,
so tiny in your heart so weighty in your mind.

I count
my ribs as I count back the days
I've been feeling
like a paper boat prone to sinking
in the ocean;
"...must be the Spring", that night I said,
but Summer came
and our edges stopped linking.

It hurts so much but I found the way
to get through this, guess what's the news?
The vilest way to anesthetize the pain:
when I lose my youth, you also lose.

I stomach your fear so nude,
your game tastes raw and rude
but She seems to overwhelm
when joy expires its term.

This blank's so evil to feel,
the one you created - and deny to fill,
inside your mind turned into weighty,
inside your heart now I'm so tiny.

And I
just want
to disappear.

Digest.

As I get thinner

inside yourself;

as our picture loses
its importance,
little by little
fades;

as you close the gates
of your empathy

and you implore
for my health
to digest your guilt,

my dear,
I can just love or hate.
There is no grey,
this is what you say.

If you can't contemplate
this puny figure,
please tolerate.

Omen.

The voice suspended by momentary blaze

I fall silent - you dare,

and fingers make claim within hungry gazes.

You hurt - I stare

at your sincere eyes and mouth

ajar and confused,

your tongue - knotted to my words.

I wish nothing more than this moment,

I take - you overflow.

Our mutual past has never been so present,

you scratch my arms - I know,

now your hidden lacunas get into my bowels,

I feed and you fill me completely

as our limbs entwined merge

we've learnt through pain, now through complicity.

We are alchemy

we are the echoes of stars

we are destiny

we are perfect bizarre

and I'm gonna miss it,

soon

I'm gonna miss us.

Exile.

A prince exiled from his reign,

my heart has no wisdom

without its freedom,

and sentiment wanders now with resentment;

it's hard again to conceal

aware of my will.

This executor took aim to my lungs,

shot many times, amuck.

Breath is stuck.

I'm plugging holes with raw sugar,

licking my fingers - it tastes good,

it tastes like blood.

My mother once told me

not to take candies from a stranger,

I never considered

they could ache my liver.

Great words and caresses

softened the harshness,

took me in a long blind alley

where my peace has been raped.

Hiss

The shadows of your words

accompany me in my way back home;

the melancholy of a moment

carries inside everything I would have done,

we keep on acting, and switching, and we are so alone.

In the mist we catch ourselves

and we should get closer to get our lips so dried,

stuck - hissing for help,

the self destruction hidden in a shell

brought by the wave of our repressed needs.

Fill your holes with my fingers

exploring your old shots untreated.

We've lost the sense of living

and I'm gonna kill you to make you live again,

when pain is a bliss for who's anaesthetized.

When feeling too much

is just like feeling nothing,

I would pay the highest price

to be able to feel again. 

(December 2013)

December.

I drive through this fog, so thick and grey,

cutting it like I used tu cut myself;
I stop and my head I lay,

my tired head with a tired brain

and tired arms and tired heart.

Flashes of memories sparkling in the night,

driving towards you, they are my guide

like stars; I can't help loving

- this is my defence, this is my defeat

and as he breaks my soul, I fall to your feet.

My secret carved into my eyes

that close not to see the world we're into

made of lies - is this life?

As long as you don't know, he doesn't;

as long as I don't speak, you don't.

A perfect equilibrium made of nothing

and no one speaks - but everything hurts.

My nature screams,

prisoner in a cage made of gold

don't find this treasure

-I know you know-

and shatter these pearls in the fog so cold.

A slave for our fears

I have become.

December 2013